Window to my soul

This week I casted on these Fragment socks with this beautiful yarn by @fibregoddess . I love how they’re turning out. The colourway is ‘Window to my Soul’ , and it hit me when I was putting this post together.

The match couldn’t be more appropriate. Don't you love when that kind of yarn poetry happens? Isn't that one of the reasons we just don't knit to keep us warm, but also to energize us and inspire us? So then, how has this yarn and this pattern turned into the perfect pair?

You see, for the last six months I’ve been going to therapy, for the first time in my life.  I was dealing with a lot grief and anxiety after my dad's sudden passing, and I needed help. It didn't take me long to make the call ,I knew I couldn't process all of that on my own.

Grief is a beast, it comes and goes in waves and it’s a very isolating process, at least for me. Without going into much detail, the sessions with my therapist allow me to explore all the feelings with no judgement, from a place of deep understanding and compassion. It's like literally, opening the window to my soul. 

And what would you see through that window? Right now, lots of enthusiasm for my new adventures, lots of ideas, creativity and love for my people and what I do. Lots of pride for staying true to myself. Immense Joy for doing the job I do every day as a teacher and also being able to fulfill my creative adventures.   

But would see a lot of fragments that I'm trying to put together. Maybe some will never find the missing piece and I'll have to accept that. And still, I'm thankful that I found the courage to observe and heal, to let go the bad, and look at the memories from a place of honouring all the positive things I've experienced with my loved ones. Looking inside one's soul is a hard thing to do, but it's so necessary. Especially during a pandemic, especially if you're a caregiver and need to stay strong for everybody else. It's so important to take care of ourselves too.

Working on these socks have made me realize how far I've become since I started therapy, how much I needed it, and how grateful I am for the people around me that support and love me unconditionally. Since I begun this creative adventure four months ago, I have found incredible support,  not only from wonderful yarn lovers that enjoy what I do, but also, from other makers that support and guide me through this artistic business enterprise. I don't take any of that for granted, it truly means the world to me.

If you like this beautiful yarn from @fibregoddess you can find it at @stashlounge. Pattern is "Fragmented Socks" by Helen Stuart @curioushandmade.

Do you have a special yarn-pattern pairing that ended having a lot of meaning for you? Like your own yarn poem?


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